• Benjamin Boateng

WHAT TO NOTE WHEN THE SEX IS BAD


It was mid 2018 when a lady contacted me with a long speech of everything her husband was doing bad during sex. After her long speech, I begun to probe a little bit on everything else outside 

sex and he seemed like such a wonderful guy. We got to work and 3 months after that her husband joined in. By the end of the year, they were a renewed couple. At times they even did other other couples and other times allowed each other to play some no strings attached away games. Their sexual adventure now surprises me sometimes but at least Once in a while, I get free jollof from them occasionally; the loveliest part of my job. So I cannot complain. I did deduce some basic factors I will like to share, which Incase you are going through a similar situation and finding it hard to undergo therapy for any reason or even feeling shy to consult with me for any reason you can incorporate into yours and have a second thought about it to see if it helps you. 1- It’s not always you should cum; It is not a must to have an orgasm every time you have sex. Most women view orgasm as the apex of sex which is why when it does not happen becomes a big deal. First change the psyche and just learn to love the moment of intimacy shared with your partner; even if it is just 2 strokes. 2-REPRODUCTION: remember that the main aim of sex in the first place is to reproduce. Therefore, the male organ is created in a manner in which ones it is stimulated, its natural resting place of comfort is to shoot the sperms meant to fertilize the eggs 🥚 to do the job of reproduction. Therefore, many at times men just release as a let go syndrome l, and not many also achieve orgasm with the sex anytime they release. 3- YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ORGASM; This is one that this short discussion will not be able to cover, but just to let you know in the simplest words, “A woman is responsible for her own orgasm” learn to know your sexual self, take control of your mind and body during sex. Immense your self in the act, figure out what makes you tick and the outside help becomes just an add on, a financier, an investor. There are different ways to take charge of this part. There are cases that he may actually be giving another girl somewhere more orgasms but none for you. 4- EVEN WHEN THE SEX IS BAD, MAKE IT A JOKE; In Mrs Alisha’s case, the sex had become so bad over the years that, she had practically given up psychologically when it came to sex with her husband. The brain being a powerful tool had accepted that he was very bad in bed and her body stopped responding to whatever means of stimulation he tried. By virtue of making fun out of the bad times, the couple basically had a once in a blue moon eruptive sex which finally became an everyday affair. 5- NO QUICK FIX: Issues like difficulty in orgasm and low libido amongst others do not have quick fixes. Unless temporary fixes which if anyone gives you a 100% assurance that it is going to work, I sit here and affirm it is a lie. People seek for pills and drugs for everything. Getting a libido booster, orgasm aid, sex enhancement pills whatever are once in a while use products. Making them a quick fix means depending on them for pleasure anytime you need to hit your maximum level of joy, which when over used, stops to function and be as effective like every other drug would. It’s ok to use them but just an occasional thing. It is just to add spice not to solve. In short bad sex in relationships are bound to happen sometimes, but remember to make lemonades out of lemons 🍋 when that is all life gives you and you will be surprised how wonderful the sex can be. There are situations that are lost causes by the way, when you find yourself in such situations there are things involved, either find another means of pleasure or just shut up and cry. 


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